The Funnies

I took a client out for lunch to celebrate his birthday at his favorite restaurant. He was excited the moment we arrived. That excitement carried him straight to the restroom. Since independent bathroom time is not an option, I followed along.

I was helping a male client make lunch. He announced he would be cooking, proudly declaring, “I’m a professional chef today!” Five minutes later, he had poured a full cup of cereal into a frying pan on high heat. When I suggested we order pizza instead, he looked offended and said, “Next time, don’t rush the chef.” Sometimes my job is protecting the building from culinary disasters.

One day, I was helping a client get dressed for an outing. She insisted on wearing two completely different shoes—one sneaker and one flip-flop. I tried reasoning, negotiating, even bribing. Nothing worked. Out we went. Halfway through, someone commented, “Uh… nice shoes!” She grinned and said, “Thanks, I like to keep people on their toes.” DSP life: some wins are just leaving the house without a meltdown.

One day, I was helping a client get dressed for an outing. She decided she absolutely needed to wear two different shoes. Not mismatched styles—she wanted one sneaker and one flip-flop.

I was supporting a gentleman who proudly told everyone he met that he was “very independent” and did not need staff help. Five minutes later, he asked me to hold his jacket, his phone, his snack, his drink, and his dignity while he tied his shoe.